Does anyone hate the week between Christmas and New Years? To me, it always feels like this strange chunk of time where your stuck between finishing out the year and starting something new, like your fighting in a game of tug-and-war. In this strange chunk of time, is where we begin to see all of the New Year Resolution diets, workouts, supplements and everything in between pop-up.

Resolution setting on January 1st has without a doubt become a trend or perhaps even a social expectation of sorts. There can be so much pressure to re-invent yourself in the new year, like you can just magically flip a switch and ta-dah!! You’ve changed. Unfortunately, most of us don’t have a magic switch and it takes a lot of hard work, patience, and consistency to accomplish goals.

Most people start out with the best of intentions, they set these big lofty goals and think they can will themselves into sticking to their plan. And while I am 100% for setting big goals, its the smaller steps that ultimately lead you there but no one talks about those. In the fitness and “wellness” industry there are seem to be a never ending stream of ads for diets, supplements, and 30 day plans that are promising weight-loss results, six-pack abs, or a rounder butt. Can we make 2021 a year where our goals having nothing to do with how much we weigh or our external appearance? We have so much more that we can do for ourselves that are not centered around how much space our body is or is not taking up. Can we take a moment to think about why we think we want to accomplish certain goals, is it really for yourself or are you trying to adhere to a social expectation?

I prefer not to frame goals as New Years Resolutions but as goals for the upcoming year. I find there is so much toxic energy around the phrase New Year “resolution”. If we look up the definition of the word resolution it is defined as: a firm decision to do or not to do something. Keeping this definition in mind, if we set a typical big “New Years Resolution” to I am going to lose 20lbs, workout 6 days a week, remove sugar from diet…what happens when we can’t adhere to this goal? After all, we set a firm decision on this big goal. Typically what happens is we skip a day, which turns into a week, which leads to feeling of guilt and shame, and we quit. Good bye 2021 goal, maybe next year, and so the cycle continues.

Well lets break up this cycle. Below are a few steps I would like you to consider if you decide to set a goal for 2021.

• Know Your Why

• Set a Goal That Is Not Toxic or Weight-loss/Body Image Focused

• Break it Down

• Have a Plan

• Have a Back Up Plan (be flexible)

• Reflect on What is Working and What Needs to Change

Set a Goal That is Not Focused On Body Image

In the past the majority of New Year Resolutions are weight-loss focused or body image focused goals. It’s (almost") 2021 can we please not set another weight-loss goal! We have so much more to offer ourselves and world that has nothing to do with what we look like or how much space our body takes up. Below are list of just a few examples of goals (in no particular order) that have are not weight-loss focused:

• Spend more time outdoors

• Drink more water

• Read more books

• Cook more meals at home

• Do a Pull-up

• Do a Push-up

• Complete a race

• Less screen time

• Eat more fruits and vegetables

• Explore your creativity

• Try new foods

• Move Your Body (in whatever way make you happiest: walking, dancing, weight lifting, running, boxing, yoga etc,) 2-3 days per week

• Journal Daily/Weekly

• Try a new activity or sport

• Expand your business

• Grow in your career/profession

• Learn a new language

Know Your Why

Cool so we have an idea for a goal. Can you take a minute to think about why you want this goal. I find that it might be helpful to write down your goal and the reasons why it is important to you. Is it because of societal pressure, what will it mean to you to accomplish this goal, how is it fulfilling and providing a service to yourself. Below are a list of thoughts that could help you find your why:

• What are my goals?

• What does this goal mean to me?

• How will I feel if I accomplish this goal?

• How does this goal serve me?

• What are my intentions with this goal?

Upon reflection, if you realize your goal does not serve you, go back and revisit possible goal ideas. Find a goal that serves a purpose for you.

Break it Down

Now that we have our goal set and we know why we want this goal, lets break it down. As we discussed earlier, most goals fail because we try to run before we walk, we get discouraged, and we quit. Breaking down this new goal into smaller obtainable steps will help to set ourselves up for success. Think about the minimum thing you can do to accomplish this goal, the most optimal thing you can do, and what something in the middle. So for example. let say you goal was to make more home cooked meals. What are our minimum, most optimal, and in between actions we can take to accomplish this. Remember this may look a little different for each person but lets say the minimal is cooking 1 meal per week at home, the most optimal is cooking 2-3 meals a day at home, and something in between is cooking 1 meal per day at home. Now that we have these guidelines set, rather than jumping into cooking 2-3 meals a day at home, can we start be committing to cooking 1 meal a day or even a week at home. Let stick with the minimum for a weeks and once that has become a habit for us, can we add to the in-between guideline, and then eventually reach the optimal.

Now what’s great about having these guidelines is we have something to fall back on. We all know that some weeks are busier than others and sometimes thing just don’t go as we planned. If along this journey we have a difficult week remember we have that minimal action to fall back on for that week.

Have A Plan

We have our goal, we know why we set it, and we’ve broken it down into actionable steps. But is the plan? How are you going to take these steps. Having a plan of action is important. If your new to home cooking and its in your budget maybe you sign up for a meal prep service such as Hello Fresh, Purple Carrot etc. to get you started. Maybe you search for a new recipe to cook each week. Maybe you like to be creative in the the kitchen and make your own recipes. Are you going to meal prep to make cooking easier (pre-cut veggies, marinate meat etc.) or do you prefer to do it all at once? Thinking about these steps matters! Having a plan will make your goal much less stressful because you have a roadmap to get you there. If your goal was fitness related (completing a race, doing a push-up, pull-up etc.) maybe you find a trainer, a friend, a class, or plan online to help you take the necessary steps to get you to your goal.

Have A Back Up Plan and Be Flexible

So lets face it, even if we have a plan, there are always things we can’t plan for. Lets say that trying to cook at home has become very stressful for you, or you (hopefully not) get injured. How can you adjust your plan if needed to still fit your goal? Have a back up plan and understand that you may need to be flexible with yourself. As an example, maybe along the way you adjust your goal from cooking more meals at home to eating meals at home as a family because that is serving you more. Just know that your goals are not resolute (see what I did there) and you can adjust them as necessary to better serve yourself.

Reflect on What is Working and What Needs to Change

This last step is important. How do you know if you plan is working if you don’t take time to reflect back on it. Along your journey set check-in point for yourself to reflect on what is working and what your may need to adjust or change. When you first start maybe this check-in is more often like daily or weekly, but as you get more comfortable, maybe this check-in becomes bi-weekly or monthly. Figure out what would work best for you. You may prefer to write your reflections down or maybe you prefer to sit down and meditate to visualize reflections.

The New Year can be a time for us to reflect and grow. For some it can feel like excitement, a new beginning or a fresh start. Can this year please be the year of saying no to the diets, the weight-loss plans, six-pack workout gimmicks. Can we move deeper than our external appearance and think about goals that would truly be of service to ourselves? Wishing everyone a happy and safe New Year.

Please comment below with your thoughts and feelings!