This week I wanted to dig into something deep…so get ready, here we go. We are going to talk about a little bit about stress/mental health, fitness, & fitness culture. I will be the first to admit that my life got a bit flipped upside down starting on March 15th. There have been a series of life changing circumstances that began on this day. To name a few: my boyfriend and I both lost our jobs, I started my own online training business, I began working from home, and we all faced many unknowns (and in many ways still do) surrounding COVID-19.

I have had my ups and downs through these times but these past two weeks…I truly can’t find the right words to describe them. I have been trying to actively make a difference by re-educating myself and supporting the black community in the best ways that I can. I am sorry for not realizing the changes that I could have made sooner, but know that I am working hard to make these changes now.

So what does this all have to do with stress, fitness, and fitness culture? Let’s break it down. In case you didn’t already guess it, I (like many others) am definitely feeling emotionally fatigued and stressed. Your mental state and your physical health are 110% connected. Let me say this again, YOUR MENTAL STATE AND PHYSICAL HEALTH ARE 110% CONNECTED. We live In a society that is constantly surrounding us with guilt and can make us feel lazy and inadequate for not being “productive” or (gasp) skipping a workout. Your workout might very well be the last thing on your mind right now and I want to remind you that this is OK!

Everyday we are bombarded with images and videos of workouts and exercises that we can do, many of these images also having socially “ideal” body types. These can be great tools and sources of information but it can also lead to immense feelings of pressure, shame, and guilt, especially if you were not one of the few that were privileged to accomplish this today.

Rest days and mental health days are equally as important, I would actually argue that they are more so, than any workout. I have had several conversations with clients over the past two weeks, where they felt disappointed or guilty for missing a workout, having a “bad” workout, or just for taking a much deserved rest day. Let me repeat that last part, they felt GUILTY for RESTING, arguably one of the most important things for your body. I have said to each and every one of these people that they did the exact right thing and they should not feel ashamed or guilty for listening to their body. If you are mentally overwhelmed, feeling stressed, or exhausted, now is probably not the time to try to squeeze in a workout. Nine times out of ten, this will result in a lack of focus during your workout, feeling frustrated and distracted, and worse case could lead to possible to injury.

I challenge my clients and readers to really look at the big picture and prioritize their mental health just as they would their physical health. You should not feel guilty for missing a workout, healthy meal, or not accomplishing your “to-do” list. Missing a workout or skipping on a healthy meal does not make your a “bad” person, just as accomplishing your workout doesn’t automatically make you a “healthy” or “good” person.

So we’ve missed a workout, now what. Let’s get into now this relates to fitness culture. Fitness culture has decided for many people that their body type isn’t “fit” or “healthy” and uses this as method of guilt. I have heard from so many people over the years that they just can’t seem to stick to fitness routine or “diet” and most of the time this is because, as industry, it is designed for you to fail. If you fail, you will keep feeling guilty, trying to exhaust yourself during your workouts, and continue trying the next new diet that “promises” results. Each time the person thinks there is something wrong with them, that if they just work harder, diet more/eat less then they will finally lose that magical number of pounds and be happy. I want to say that It is not your fault, there is nothing wrong with you, and I am here to offer support guidance in any I can because quite frankly this is bullshit and makes me furious and upset. Your happiness and health is not and should not be dependent on or determined by the number on the scale.

As a fitness industry and personal trainers, we need to do better and meet our clients where they are at both mentally and physically. If a goal of yours is lose weight, that could be great goal (although I’ve written about other options in previous posts, click here) but I challenge you to ask yourself WHY? Do you want to lose weight because your chasing a body size/type that has been culturally determined as the correct and magical weight/size/shape or is it because you want to lose weight so that you might be able to move your body better and accomplish certain tasks that are currently difficult for you, or maybe there is a medical reason. Really think about this…its not an easy thing to ask and it may take time. If you still decide that weight loss is your goal that you have chosen for yourself, I want you to think about if there might be a different goal that we can work towards that can set you up for success, leave you looking forward to your workouts, and allow to actually enjoy your day/life/food without feelings of guilt and shame. We have been conditioned that when we see a certain body type (when I say athletic or fit body type what comes to mind?) that this is what we need to look like to be “healthy”. This may or very well may not be the case. Each of us has different bodies and different genetics and I want to say loud and clear that there is no magical perfect body type that means you are more athletic, stronger, or more beautiful. Every body and body type at every size deserves to be celebrated, should be treated with equal amounts of respect, and should not be punished for not looking like what society has determined for us to be “fit”. When we take into account that our body’s nervous system may already be stressed out and we add in the expectations of fitness culture, this could result in further damage to our mental and emotional state. Fitness, exercise, and workouts should be something that you do because it feels good to move your body, not the result of feeling of guilt or for punishment.

Each time I train a client they can be expected to be asked a variation of “how are you”, “how is your week going”, “how is your day”, “how did you feel after our last workout?” I truly care about my clients as unique individuals and this is also a big clue for me as to where their stress levels are at and if I need to adjust their workout to meet their needs. Guess what, if I have a challenging workout planned but someone is having a really difficult or stressful week, you better believe that were moving on to plan B or even C because stressing out an already over stressed system is setting you up for disaster. I challenge you to ask yourself these same questions before your next workout and adjust your plan accordingly.

But I get it, maybe you truly love to exercise. If you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed but still NEED to workout (I would challenge you to ask yourself why), I have a couple of suggestions for you that can help you get in some movement without placing even more stress on your body.

1. Go for a walk outside. If getting outside is an option for you, a short 15-30 minute walk can help you escape.

2. Work on some breathing drills or meditation. This will do wonders for your nervous system and can be done anywhere. If meditation is new to you there are a bunch of both free and paid apps you can use to help get your started (Headspace and Calm are two that I’m familiar with).

3. Work on foam rolling/mobility/stretching. These pieces of our health are easily overlooked and forgotten and are equally as important as your strength work. This could be a good time to work on building these skills (there are many free videos on youtube)

4. Participate in GENTLE or RESTORATIVE yoga. Emphasis on the word gentle and restorative. Find a local studio to support online or there are many free options available on youtube.

To all of you that made it to the bottom of this very long post I want to say thank you for taking the time the read this. I hope that my words resonated with you in some way and challenges you to question some of your fitness beliefs or standards.